The adolescent years are often like being in a funhouse of mirrors – easy to get lost and not always reflecting an accurate self-image. Supporting young people in navigating these times can be draining and confusing for a parent. A confident and resilient adolescent is more likely to make positive social connections, avoid negative peer pressure and reduce the risk of mental health concerns.
Tips to achieving a confident adolescent:
Provide a safe, secure home with clear boundaries and expectations. While they might argue that they need more freedom, young people thrive when they know what is expected of them and learn to make good choices. ReachOut.com highlights that boundaries reinforce to your young person that you care about them and that they are safe and supported. Boundaries also provide a framework to help make good choices with autonomy.
Negotiate boundaries, consequences and rewards. Learning to negotiate is a lifelong skill which will assist your young person throughout their adulthood and create a sense of ownership which enhances the likelihood of adherence to boundaries. Additionally, involving your young person will ensure that boundaries are clear and understood.
Remember to be consistent. Once boundaries have been agreed upon it is important that parents do not change the expectation. As situations occur which requires adjustments to the boundaries it is important to sit down with your young person to negotiate the changes with clear explanation of the reasons. This helps young people to develop flexibility in their thinking and understand that sometimes compromises or adjustments are needed. Do not excuse boundary breaches or feel guilty if you need to implement a consequence. Being inconsistent or not adhering to boundaries undermines your authority and risks repeated negative behaviours.
Role model a healthy lifestyle. As a parent it is easy to get lost in the many responsibilities of life. Maintaining a balanced lifestyle not only ensures your own wellbeing but that of your young person as they learn to balance their own responsibilities. You are the most influential role model in their life. From you they will learn to prioritise the aspects of their life. By practicing self-care and a healthy balance between your work and family life you teach your young person the most important message in life – that their healthy and wellbeing is important!
Engage with your young person. Showing interest in their interests increases feelings of self-worth and lets them know they are important to you. Being involved in your young person’s interests gives you a common topic to talk about and will strengthen the bond you have with them. Increasing this bond will help give them confidence to come and talk to you if they are having any difficulties in other areas.
Show affection. It is important affection is displayed in a way that is comfortable for your young person. Adolescence is a time of change – physically and emotionally. How young people show and receive affection is also changing. Gone are the days of cuddles and declarations of “I love you mummy/daddy”. Now we’re more likely to hear a grunt of recognition of our affections or a “you’re embarrassing me in front of my friends”. But don’t mistake this for lack of caring. Adolescents continue to crave our affection, just in different ways. It’s important to be aware of their personal boundaries and to be respectful while still providing the affection which reinforces to them you care and accept them for who they are.
No matter how old we are, positive reinforcement feels good and is the fastest, most effective way to encourage a behaviour to be repeated. Let your young person know you are aware of and appreciate positive behaviour.
How to Access a Psychologist at CQ Psych Services:
- Contact us directly by calling 07 49726929 or email admin@cqpsychservices.com.au
- Ask your GP or health professional to refer you to our clinic.
- Visit our website and complete a ‘Contact Us’ form and one of our friendly staff will reply to your enquiry. Website: https://cqpsychservices.com.au/
Author: Tina Bunge